Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
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LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
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I said "one day" and that day is not today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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