Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Vodka?
Forever.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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