Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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