i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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