There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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