no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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