we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
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