Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
