Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize