is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize