sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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