i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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