I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
