she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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