Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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