omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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