His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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