I'm gonna have a badass scar
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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