I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Randomize