Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I did not marry a roomba.
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