Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
