a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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