she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here