my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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