party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Last time i carry you out of a forest
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
