And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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