I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
