she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
