I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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