just come out here and I will go home with you...
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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