Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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