I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I want to make a zoo with you.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.