i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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