By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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