So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
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