I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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