i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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