ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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