If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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