I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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