I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize