O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
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Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.