Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
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Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
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Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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