I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Can you bring me the toilet please
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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