Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
