these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
