I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
