I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
