Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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