I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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