why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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