this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.