awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?