You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned