The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.