Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize